Tuesday, March 19, 2013

50 Ways to Love Him


Guest Contributor, Lisa Jacobson, Club 31 Women

The beautiful love in Song of Solomon. Nearly makes me blush.

A story of rich, full, tender, and touching love. Very touching. It’s a Biblical kind of marriage and what I want for us. I want to enjoy a deep and passionate love with my husband.

And why not? 

He's all mine and I'm all his. Just like the Bible says.

For I've found him whom my soul loves (Song of Solomon 3:4).

50 Ways to Love Him


1.     Kiss him on the lips. Every day. For a long time.

2.     Slip a love note into his lunch.

3.     Snuggle into him. Any chance you get.

4.     Dress up. Wear something you feel pretty in.

5.     Wrap your arms around his neck.

6.    Smile at him with all your heart.

7.     Turn up the music and slow down the dance.

8.     Wake him in the morning with a kiss.

9.     Give him a knowing wink from across the way.

10.   Arrange for a sitter. Then go somewhere special.  


11.   Go to bed early. Together.

12.   Listen sympathetically to his day.

13.   Hold hands. Whenever you can.

14.   Write a message on his bathroom mirror.

15.   Laugh at his jokes. No matter how many times you've heard them.

16.   Run your fingers through his hair.

17.   Fix him his favorite foods.

18.   Talk late into the night.

19.   Reach out and touch him. Often.

20.   Send him a text. That would make him smile.


21.   Whisper secrets in his ear.

22.   Enjoy his company. Just 'cause you like him.

23.   Go for a long walk. Arm in arm.

24.   Plan special surprises for him.

25.   Look for little ways to delight him.

26.   Let him know how much you missed him while he was gone.

27.   Seek to be together any time you can.

28.   Greet him with an adoring smile.

29.   Offer him a back rub.

30.   Leave no doubt of your devotion.


31.   Tell him about the attraction. You feel for him.

32.   Let your fingers do the talking.

33.   Prepare a picnic. Then head over to the park.

34.   Cuddle up on the couch and watch an old movie.

35.   Turn the lights down low.

36.   Sneak away to a nearby cafe.

37.   Walk outside on a clear night. And stare at the stars together.

38.   Light up when he enters the room.

39.   Brush your lips against his forehead.

40.   Bake cookies and deliver them to his work. Personally, if possible.


41.   Speak in that sweet tone. Saved just for him.

42.   Chase the kids off his lap. To make room for you.

43.   Call him up. Just to say, I love you.

44.   Sing him a love song.

45.   Sit on the porch. And watch the world go by.

46.   Lay your head on his strong shoulders.

47.   Thank God for him. Every day.

48.   Light a small fire. Deep in his heart.

49.   Look lovingly into his eyes.

50.   Fall asleep in his arms. Whenever possible.


Of course, this is only a start. You've probably got lots more ideas to add to this list!

But now to go and find that Man of mine - him whom my soul loves

And I think I'll begin with the first one listed.... :)

In His grace,





Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matt Jacobson, literary agent and writer, and together they enjoy raising 8 children. Please join her over at Club31Women, a blog for any wife, mother, or sister who is looking for Biblical encouragement and inspiration. 
Find her on facebook: Club31Women



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44 comments:

  1. Love this post, I will be adding it to my list of favourites on my blog My Daily Walk in His grace, in the hope that others will read it there too
    God bless
    Tracy

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  2. Thank you for sharing this. i am truly blessed.

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  3. I so love this...I surely shall keep reference to it. God bless you Lisa..

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  4. Unfortunately, most husbands would jettison much of this post - not because they are jerks, but because most of this list is how a husband should show his wife his love for her. Men prefer things a bit different than we gals. Although your hubbie would not DISlike any of this list, it is not the list he would put together. A woman needs to feel loved - a man needs to feel respected. So while warm fuzzies are nice, they aren't what makes him "tick". If you truly want to show him how much you love him, find, do, and say those things that make him realize how much you respect him - and please do not neglect him in the bedroom, no matter how tired you might be. These 2 things are of utmost importance to a husband!

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    1. I was thinking the same thing! This a great list to hand to my husband so he can show ME love. I think he would prefer if I dropped everything and played a game of basketball with him, or encouraged him to spend some time with his buddies for a weekend, or praised him for doing those handy things around the house. Our husbands are wired so differently then we are, I think we owe it to them to find out how they feel respected.

      This is still a great list though! I would love if he did these things to and for me!

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    2. Thats not necessarily true ladies. Im a man, a husband, and a father. It would be niced to be showed the same warm and fuzzies that you would want. We need to feel wanted and special too. The respect thing is a good ego boost but for the romance aspect, its nice to feel desired, on both sides of the line.

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    3. I think the idea that women want loved and men want respected is a little blown out of proportion. I think to some degree, men and women both want to be shown love and respect. As a man, I don't just want to be shown respect. It's great when my lady shows me love. Heck, I wouldn't even mind getting flowers every once in a while just because it's a different way to show it.

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    4. another bad side affect of that awful book. Men need love and respect. Women need love and respect. It is not an either or for crying out loud!

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    5. My boyfriend would love every single one of these things, and I have definitely done them plenty of times. Don't assume a man wouldn't like these things simply because of his gender.

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    6. I was gonna say the same thing. If I touched my man as much as this says to he would hate it! On the other hand, I would be thrilled by all these things!

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  5. These are great suggestions, but hubby has to be around and available. Mine is too busy working (both at home and at work), too tired, or tells me to leave him alone. Time to move on.

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    1. He does not have to be around. Your attitude shows whenever you communicate to him, in writing, act, phone or in person. Is it respect or criticism?

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  6. Excellent. Yes all true and I pray my newly wed daughter will apply them all to the sweet young man she is married to. We have been married 24 years and the dividends of unconditional love still pays

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  7. These are WONDERFUL. Wow. So many great ideas to be a blessing to our man and to invest in our marriage. Thank you!
    Blessings,
    Shan
    The How to Guru

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  8. I have been preparing my (next?) blog post on exactly this topic. A list of tips to show love-on-purpose to your husband. To be fair, I stopped reading your post once I knew what it was about, so it won't influence my own list. I will come back and read your list once my post is complete. I will also include a link to your post on my own blog at HalosAndPens.weebly.com

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  9. Listen for the things he asks you to do, write them down, and do them.

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    1. You hit the nail on the head, Anonymous! We often begin to think first of what would be fun for us, but neglect to ponder that that kind of thing does not have a history of our husband's enthusiastic response! This list shared by Lisa had some great ideas: I went through and counted the ones that I had either 1)initiated and received enthusiastic response from my husband, or 2)he initiated or asked for usually more than once. I got a total of 25. We have done most of the others together, but the 25 were obvious husband-pleasers. And for those of us who have struggled to know our husband's heart sometimes, either through our lack of listening or his lack of communication, we begin to learn by experimenting with any or all of the things suggested here. They are all very good suggestions! No harm done if you try all 50! :)

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  10. As a man, I can tell you that these will work most of the time. We often get too busy and forget about our first love, kids get in the way and onto grand kids, work, chores, church... all these good things and not enough time together.
    If my "chick", as I call her, is doing these things it won't be long before I take notice. It's hard to die- to self- by life comes from dying.
    BTW, we've been together for 33 yrs, married 29 and we still have a lot of dying to do and lots to learn, but I really appreciate the post.
    I also have to allow her to do things like run her fingers through my hair. It's a 2 way street.

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  11. This is great. Some of them I had thought of already but a lot of them are new Ideas. Thanks :)

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  12. Wonderful list! It's the little things that matter. God bless you Lisa!

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  13. thank you Lisa I loved reading this-I already do quite a lot of these and will celebrate our Pearl Anniversary later this year- you can never underestimate the power of kindness- little surprises and showing your love

    Fiona

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  14. This is a great list to start...so don't let your own imagination stop you! Speak your husband's love language and express yours to him (if you haven't yet). Love and respect is a full circle that both husband and wife are always learning. We are built differently for a reason. To teach each other as God does for us. Learn to discipline yourself thru God and delight in Him! He will show you what to do and why marriage is so important to Him.

    Personally, my husband and I have been together for 12 years and still have a lot to learn from one another. We are complete opposites. We have 4 children under 10 and life is always busy. Every year is different, difficult, and new. It can look ugly from the outside sometimes, but God has a way to turn those ashes to beauty. Always. He will show you to lean on him and be open with your husband the same way. Don't ever let anything stop you from learning to love and respect each other. Always be willing to learn anew. God will always show His love thru you as He does thru your husband. You never know..He just might surprise you with your willingness to be submissive.

    But above all, love one another.

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  15. I've been married over 15 years, the first 8 being very hard. I expected everything listed above & angry that he wouldn't do them.... but after I realized what he needed was respect and maybe #4, #15 and alot of #17 & #32, within a few months, our marrige did a complete turn around. He is amazing & makes me laugh every day. Everything listed above is, in my opinon, desires of a woman (and alot of fluff), not typically a man. "Love & Respect" by E. Emmerson. Best book ever.

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  16. I agree with some of the other comments. Most of these are more typical of what a wife would want from her husband. Still, a good post.

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  17. Beautiful post! I love all your suggestions and I incorporate many of them already often. Something I know my husband loves is when I initiate sex. This makes him feel very loved and desired, and affirms his masculinity.

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  18. This is an excellent list! I will definitely share this with my students.

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  19. Thanks for sharing. I happily shared this post on my blog Facebook page. God Adventure in Marriage Blog.

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  20. Yeah this is all well and good if you're from the 1950s. If you married him, you don't necessarily have to dote on the man 24/7. Where's the listing on what a man should do for his wife?

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    1. This comment seems very selfish. I've noticed that when I provide my husband with his needs, he is always happy to meet mine. And i'm a little confused on how loving your husband and being kind to him could ever be outdated.

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  21. I don't know why I read these things. Its not like I will ever have a need to use them in my lifetime or anyone elses. However, they are nice sentiments and like another person said. What would be a mans opinion on this list. Chances are he would not completely agree and would have a different list all on his own. And as another person stated. Where is a list for husbands to complete. It may sound selfish but seriously, why is it women have to do all the work in the relationship while a man gets all the passes. No one would ask a man to forget the fact that he is tired in order to do something for his wife. You would simply tell the wife to ignore her needs and let him rest. Why cannot women get a chance to rest as well. We cannot we must constantly give and get nothing in return. Because in the end only men matter. Proof of this is the fact that no one would make a list to tell men how to love his wife and if they did not one man would read it and actually do any of those things. Its only women who read this advice on how to benefit her marriage. Because its only women who are required too work on the marriage. Mostly its about letting the whole relationship revolve around him and your desires, dreams and especially needs being left on the back burner for him to determine you are worthy enough or important enough to love in return.

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  22. I'm so glad i've found you! Thank you for your tips. Mariela from mexico

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  23. I believe this list works all depending on a mans love language. My husband and I are still madly in love with each other and we both do many of the things listed on a daily basis. But that also has to be his language. If it isn't this list won't mean as much to him. Reading the book the 5 love languages well give you an understanding of what makes him tick and how to really love him. You have to know his love language.

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  24. Why is it all about him? What about what she needs/wants to feel loved?

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  25. This article has the wrong title. It should be "50 ways to love HER" Women want love and loving acts. Men want respect. When is the last time you ever heard a man say that he would appreciate a love note in his lunch??

    Men want one big gift per year.
    Men would like a woman to initiate sex once and a while.
    Men would build you a palace if you would be clear and tell them that is what you wanted.

    I love how women write articles all the time on how to love men... Did you ever stop to think why men don't write these articles?
    Men write articles on how to understand women!
    This could be solved by letting your woman know that you are not a mind reader. If she wants something she needs to tell you. In direct statement.

    Here is the number one tip for you women... If you do not have eye contact with your man, he can not hear you. Period! Do not try to give your man important information from the other room and then hold it against him when he does not remember.

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  26. Thank you so much for this. I'm 18 years old and today I was telling my sister that sometimes marriage just seems miserable from what I see in my siblings marriages. But this made me feel excited fro marriage. And that it is a truly great thing. Thank you so much for touching my life. - Jenica

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  27. I enjoyed this great post, thanks for sharing!

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  28. I think most guys would be mortified if you hand deliver cookies to their work. This list has some good ideas but it's a little smothering. Showing love and respect is great but personal space is so important too.

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  29. I guess I don't understand why people need a list to tell them to do these things for/with their loved one. I automatically light up when he enters a room, kiss him often, etc...even after 13 years and three children. Simply because I love him. If these things don't come naturally, forcing them isn't showing him love, it's being insincere.

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  30. I did all those things for 12 years and then I woke up one day and thought: THIS is a one-way street! He's coddled, cherished, and cosseted and I'm drained, exhausted, stressed, and hungry for appreciation. I walked out the door and never looked back. He was, of course, mystified. After all, for HIM, it had been a wonderful marriage.

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  31. Isn't it too much?

    That person will feel that you tide him up with your loads of Love

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  32. As a wife of a trucker/roughneck, I'm pleased to say my husband appreciates many of the items on the list. A massage relaxes him after a rough day. Initiating kisses gets me more kisses. Baking his favorite cookies always gets me hugs & kisses, a thank you and a smile.
    Men notice, just as women do, those special little things that may not seem like much, but mean oh so very much.

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  33. You said: "He's all mine and I'm all his. Just like the Bible says."
    But "For I've found him whom my soul loves (Song of Solomon 3:4)." But what you're quoting has nothing to do with possession. And everything to do with admiration.

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